{"id":36690,"date":"2020-11-30T14:31:29","date_gmt":"2020-11-30T14:31:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/demo.divi-pixel.com\/agency\/2020\/11\/30\/how-to-make-money-on-youtube-copy\/"},"modified":"2026-01-20T13:38:59","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T13:38:59","slug":"and-if-we-stopped-trying-to-save-our-teams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/and-if-we-stopped-trying-to-save-our-teams\/","title":{"rendered":"What if we stopped trying to \u00absave\u00bb our teams?"},"content":{"rendered":"

In many organisations, I hear phrases like: \u00abI'm protecting my teams\u00bb, \u00abI'm taking it upon myself\u00bb, \u00abI'm going to sort it out for them\u00bb. It's all well and good. But by dint of save<\/strong>, we dispossesses<\/strong> We make others dependent on us, we wear ourselves out, and the system learns that the solution comes from above. And if, instead of \u00absaving\u00bb, we support<\/strong> How can we help our teams to regain their power to act, their clarity and their responsibility?<\/p>\n

The \u00abrescue\u00bb trap\u00bb<\/h2>\n

Wanting to save often means deciding instead, absorbing conflicts, taking on all the burdens and speaking for others. This is reassuring in the short term, but in the medium term :<\/p>\n

    \n
  • \n

    the team wait<\/strong> instead of acting ;<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    the manager becomes neck<\/strong> ;<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    the quality of decision-making drop<\/strong> (field signals are lost) ;<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    exhaustion monte<\/strong> (both for the manager and the team).<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    We slip into the Karpman's dramatic triangle<\/strong> the manager in Sauveur<\/strong> sometimes ends up Persecutor<\/strong> (when he breaks down) and the team stays Victim<\/strong>.
    The way out? Moving on to a relationship adult-adult<\/strong> : Creator-Challenger-Coach<\/strong> (David Emerald's TED* model).<\/p>\n

    From \u00absaving\u00bb to \u00absupporting\u00bb: three approaches<\/h2>\n
      \n
    • \n

      Creator (team side)<\/strong> I clarify what I want to produce and choose a possible first action.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      Challenger (reality\/manager side)<\/strong> I name the facts, the gaps, the constraints; I honour the consequences.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      Coach (manager side)<\/strong> I ask questions, give pointers and open up options, I don't do things for you<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Key question<\/strong> : \u00abWhat do you need to get ahead on your own?\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n

      The foundations of empowering support<\/h2>\n
        \n
      1. \n

        Clarity of direction<\/strong> What we want, what we don't want, and the criteria for success.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      2. \n

        Decision-making rights<\/strong> who decides<\/strong> of what (empowerment scale: inform \/ consult \/ co-decide \/ decide).<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      3. \n

        Rituals and rules<\/strong> Regular opportunities to look at reality (priorities, workload, bottlenecks) and decide together.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      4. \n

        Psychological safety<\/strong> You can say \u00abI don't know\u00bb \/ \u00abI made a mistake\u00bb \/ \u00abI need help\u00bb.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      5. \n

        Capacity vs. demand<\/strong> We're watching what you can actually absorb<\/strong> and we assume non-choice<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Practical tools for moving from saviour to supporter<\/h2>\n

        1) The support contract (manager \u2194 team)<\/h3>\n
          \n
        • \n

          Our course<\/strong> : \u2026<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          What I expect from you<\/strong> This means making decisions as close to the ground as possible, giving me early warning and proposing options.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          What you can expect from me<\/strong> to arbitrate, protect against abuses and remove structural obstacles.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          Our limits<\/strong> what I do<\/strong> will do not<\/strong> for you (no planning, no micro-management, no note-taking at team meetings).<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          2) The \u201c1:1\u201d approach to empowerment (simple framework)<\/h3>\n
            \n
          • \n

            A - Appreciation<\/strong> What worked well?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            I - Inquiry<\/strong> What's blocking you \/ costing you \/ worrying you?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            R - Resolution<\/strong> What do you need from me? When<\/strong> Will you come back and tell me what you tried?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

            3) Weekly team meeting in 30 minutes<\/h3>\n
              \n
            • \n

              Priorities of the week<\/strong> (max 3)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              Load & capacity<\/strong> (Limited WIP: stop \u00abeverything in parallel\u00bb)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              Blockages<\/strong> owner + date + next small action<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              Arbitrage<\/strong> to be taken to the next level (format options + impacts<\/strong>)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

              4) Clarify decisions (RACI\/DRI + decision log)<\/h3>\n
                \n
              • \n

                A DRI<\/strong> (Directly Responsible Individual) per subject.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                Journal<\/strong> decision \/ date \/ why \/ who carries it out \/ planned review.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                We're getting away from the \u00abbenevolent vagueness\u00bb that ends up in latent conflict.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                5) Language that changes everything (manager scripts)<\/h3>\n
                  \n
                • \n

                  \u00ab What options do you see?<\/strong> Pick one and tell me what you're testing by Friday.\u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                • \n

                  \u00ab What do you decide<\/strong>, And what do you need to make your decision more secure?\u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                • \n

                  \u00ab I can hear the overload<\/strong>, I'll take my share of the arbitration: what do we put on the table? on break<\/strong> ? \u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                • \n

                  \u00ab No<\/strong> is not a refusal from you, it's a yes<\/strong> to our course and our health.\u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                  Looking after the load before looking after the people<\/h2>\n

                  Saving teams by asking them to absorb more is a contradiction in terms. A supportive leader manages the load<\/strong> :<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  • \n

                    WIP limits<\/strong> (work in progress): on ends<\/strong> before start<\/strong> something else.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    Kill list<\/strong> monthly: what subjects do we stop at?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    Realistic capacity<\/strong> No continuous 120 % plan; we reserve 10-15 % for the unexpected and continuous improvement.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    Stop-fix-learn rituals<\/strong> We slow down to repair and learn, otherwise the debt comes back.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                    Managing conflict without saving lives<\/h2>\n

                    Saving often means absorb the conflict<\/strong> on behalf of those concerned. The supporting role :<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. \n

                      Frame<\/strong> discussion rules (listening, equal time, facts vs. interpretations).<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    2. \n

                      Process<\/strong> each side reformulates the other before arguing.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    3. \n

                      Decision<\/strong> If disagreement persists, the decision is made at the right level<\/strong> and we explain why.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      Healthy indicators (to be monitored for 10 minutes a week)<\/h2>\n
                        \n
                      • \n

                        Clarity<\/strong> % of decisions recorded; number of subjects without an owner.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                      • \n

                        Load<\/strong> Average WIP \/ person; average time to complete a subject.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                      • \n

                        Climate<\/strong> Psychological safety score (pulse 3 questions); number of escalations treated in less than a week.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                      • \n

                        Learning<\/strong> Number of \u00absmall bet\u00bb experiments carried out per month.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                        30-day training plan<\/h2>\n

                        Week 1<\/strong> - Announcement of support contract<\/strong> + 1:1 screen.
                        Week 2<\/strong> - Setting up the weekly ritual<\/strong> (priorities\/loads\/blocks) + DRI by subject.
                        Week 3<\/strong> \u2014 WIP limit<\/strong> + kill list + decision log.
                        Week 4<\/strong> - Shared assessment: what has changed (workload, decisions, climate) + one habit we're keeping, one we're stopping, one we're starting.<\/p>\n

                        What you can say tomorrow<\/h2>\n
                          \n
                        • \n

                          \u00abI'm not going to solve things for you any more. I can help you decide<\/strong>. \u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          \u00abWe put 3 priorities<\/strong> and leave the rest for later\u00bb.\u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          \u00abIf there is a conflict, I provide the frame<\/strong> and help to slice<\/strong>, not to be avoided\u00bb.\u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          \u00abI prefer a small true decision<\/strong> today than a major rescue tomorrow.\u00bb<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                          Conclusion<\/h2>\n

                          When you stop \u00absaving\u00bb your teams, you're not disengaging; you're committing yourself. otherwise<\/strong> Creating clarity, regulating workloads, keeping managers on track, developing autonomy. Supportive leadership enables others<\/strong>. It's slower in the first week, and much faster in the following weeks - because the teams create<\/strong>, decide<\/strong> and learn<\/strong> by themselves.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                          Dans beaucoup d\u2019organisations, j\u2019entends des phrases comme : \u00ab Je prot\u00e8ge mes \u00e9quipes \u00bb, \u00ab Je prends sur moi \u00bb, \u00ab Je vais r\u00e9gler \u00e7a pour eux \u00bb. L\u2019intention est belle. Mais \u00e0 force de sauver, on d\u00e9poss\u00e8de : on rend les autres d\u00e9pendants, on s\u2019\u00e9puise, et le syst\u00e8me apprend que la solution vient d\u2019en […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36683,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"Manager : arr\u00eater de \u00ab sauver \u00bb ses \u00e9quipes | MaiWay","_seopress_titles_desc":"Sauver d\u00e9responsabilise et \u00e9puise. Passez de \u201csauveur\u201d \u00e0 leader soutenant : autonomie, clart\u00e9 de cap, droits de d\u00e9cision, rituels, WIP, journal des d\u00e9cisions.","_seopress_robots_index":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"dipi_cpt_category":[],"class_list":["post-36690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-maiway"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36690","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36690"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36690\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/36683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36690"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36690"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36690"},{"taxonomy":"dipi_cpt_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maiway.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/dipi_cpt_category?post=36690"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}